A week ago I was scolded for not having watched The Walking Dead. I was explicitly told, "you're an internet person" and "how could you not have done this simple thing?". You know what? Yeah, I guess I am an internet person, but babe, I'm not that weird girl at the party who asks your plan for a zombie apocalypse and proceeds to point out its flaws. I don't possess any intention of having my greatest fear become of a cripplingly slow, brain-eating strain of the deceased that can be taken out by a simple bullet yet will, apparently, inevitably overrun the Earth as we know it. No, I'm more into the high-octane world of weed-based jokes, dysfunctional families and Nick Jonas.
Kingdom: This is what Nick Jonas has been up to since he removed his purity ring. Supporting an effortless cast, and a not-so-effortless crack addict mother, he plays the son of a defamed boxer - who is fighting the battle of keeping his business open, his sons on track to live up to his past, and his girlfriend from retreating back into the arms of his convict brother. There's one season out thus far, with the second to premiere in the Spring.
Length of time to watch: 2 days (if you're up for a marathon)
Broad City: Two college graduates smoking a lot of weed, supporting '90s hip hop, trying to find themselves (and cash) in the New York City. It includes a less-than-silky montage of half-naked apartment cleaning paired with an Alt-J song, and an amazing, Missy-Elliott-inspired cold opening choreographed to Drake's "Started From the Bottom". I can't compare it to anything because there isn't anything to compare it to - it's impossible not to love Ilana and Abbi after this.
Length of time to watch: a couple days, 2 seasons, 10 episodes each, 22 minutes an episode.
Empire: If there is one woman in the fictitious world of television that you should aspire to be, it's definitely Cookie Lyon. She's loud, powerful and strong enough to survive an abusive relationship and prison. Oh, and she can rock a skin tight leopard jumpsuit. There's a lot of original, proper hip hop hits, performed by the music industry's king, Lucious' three, great-looking sons - who are simultaneously competing for their father's position as head of the kingdom.
Length of time to watch: however long it takes you to watch twelve 42 minute long episodes - where's you're dedication!?
The Killing: If you're into a crime miniseries, and even if you're not, The Killing is a must watch. Two detectives struggle through Seattle's rain to uncover the truth after a young girl is found dead. Tied up, in the boot of a town car and at the bottom of the lake? Truly one way to die. I was (not really) on the edge of my seat the whole way through (curled up on the couch), and you will be too.
Length of time to watch: I mean, after each episode you'll just want to keep watching, but there are 4 seasons. It took me a week.
Transparent: I cried when Jeffrey Tambor won the Golden Globe for his compelling role as a transgender woman in this. It tells the story of Maura Pfefferman and her family as their secrets begin to spill out. It's a comedy around such an important topic, especially as this moment in time, that is tasteful, educational and God damn thought-provoking. The name is only the beginning of how clever this show is.
Length of time to watch: it'll take you 5 hours of binging, but set yourself up with a block of Cadbury's and you'll be singing.