Today marks the slow end to 2016. It's an ironic time where everything and nothing happens all at once. A time where the world feels like it's at an incomprehensible halt, yet it's not. The world is still spinning, as are our minds and souls.
I started 2016 on the biggest organic high of my life. The year previous did me well - 2015 showed me my place in life and provided me the ladder to climb. I was unapologetically happy - so happy that the three bottle of red wine and half bottle of Jack consumed on New Years Eve couldn't even hinder my January 1st. I found people, I found purpose and I cliché-ingly found myself. 2015 did an amazing job at getting me to such an elevation point that 2016 had absolutely no issue with knocking me down. Wind completely knocked out of my sails, I'm 2 feet off the ground trying to navigate myself to ensure I land on my feet.
I've been through all stages of my cyclical mental health this year, and I feel as if I've assigned every part of my being to one thing or another throughout the last 12 months, and with 2016 coming to its end, I don't think I'm going to get them back. I've given a lot, I've received a lot, both negatively and positively, and I've definitely learned a lot.
Here's what 2016 taught me:
1. People are selfish.
Inherently so. There are two kinds of selfish, and a mind must be clear-cuttingly-observant to understand the difference. I've come to realise who these people are and how little benefit they are to me in life. My one piece of advice that I always give to someone is, "be more selfish". I've perceived this idealistic "selfish" as not being one to disregard your own personal emotions, feelings and thoughts under the judgement or sacrifice of others. I stand by this, but 2016 made me realise that the word "selfish" encompasses much more than my closed, beneficial definition. The world is completely selfish. In the bad way. In the way which undermines people and puts them in detriment - it is this environment with which people become learned selfish.
I remember walking into a bar one afternoon this year, looking in the eyes of the bartender and saying, "why the fuck is everyone so selfish...? Give me a goddamn shot of fernet!"
2016 saw days, nights, weekends, and weeks of mine ruined because of the selfish desires of others, my input completely disregarded. I have one option - cut those selfish people out and continue to be the good type of selfish. Cya. ✌🏼
2. No one knows how the world works.
Like, seriously. No one. Sometimes it's shit, sometimes it's fucking fantastic. We've got to take the bad with the good and the lows with the highs. No matter age, no matter culture or upbringing, no one knows how the world works and we can all unite with that terrifying reality.
3. The world deserves you, you don't deserve the world.
We're here for a reason, we all do shit that others can't do. I can't sing and I can't dance but I'm fucking killer at karaoke and on the dance floor at 3am. We've got to work for the things which we want. Yeah, I'll protest at 11am on a Sunday morning when I can't click my fingers and have a bacon butty in front of me, but 24 hours later I'm ready to kill it, and push for what's best for everyone and myself. 👊🏼
4. Don't disregard your emotions.
Be the good kind of selfish.
5. Understand people on a level beneath their surface.
Be observant - when you understand people's motivations and passions you'll connect on a much better level. Or perhaps you won't. But that's the nature of it. 🌱
In a strange parallel universe where Kylie Jenner is a prophetic visionary, 2016 really was the year of realising things. A selection of those things, at the time, I perhaps would have preferred to have not realised. In hindsight and reflection, go get the rosary beads and candles for the Kylie shrine... I've got the red wine! 🍷 🙏🏻